My favorite medicine is play; one additional dose always works, producing an extraordinary effect.
It has been an inspiring journey living alone for four years. It has been an even more inspiring life after losing some of my most valuable people in the process. Thoughts on this often bring tear-jerking memories that sometimes worsen the feeling. Some days these feelings take me into darkness. However, there are moments when they actively help to spice up my day, even if it is just for a moment. These often happen when I make use any of the three most important personality traits I learned from my parent; integrity, playfulness, and submission.
My dad was a man of integrity while my mom was the most playful African mother and wife I have ever known. Today, this write-up focuses on my mom’s playfulness. Daddy’s integrity will be subject for another day.
My mom made sweet memories with the way she went about our childhood lives, especially her relationship with my older brother. I am not sure this is very common with African moms. She was classy, even in the way she raised us. I cannot guess rightly the number of times she ran around the house chasing after my elder brother to drop something on him. They played like this even when we were adults. Mom was very carefree doing this. I guess these are the best rekindling memories my older brother has of my mom. These made him miss our mom so much. Mon also liked playing with our dad. Even though she knew her he would not engage in the plays (at least not in front of us kids) she made efforts to play with him, nevertheless. She would randomly say something, tickle him, or do something unusual just so he would react, smile or laugh.
After mom and dad passed away, I decided to spend some time in isolation and read a few books. One of these is Brené Brown’s book titled: The Gift of imperfection. In one of the chapters, Brené wrote about “Cultivating laughter, song, and dance.” From her research, Brené explains what laughter, singing, and dancing do to our lives. They bring a sense of true freedom, relief, and healing. I strongly recommend this book to anyone longing to make play a part in his or her life. I believe these three things are deeply rooted in play. I could see that from my mom whenever she played with my older brother. In her book, Brené also recommended the book Play by Dr. Stuart Brown. I could not resist getting hold of this book. Dr. Stuart explained that play is a purposeless, all-consuming, and fun-filled activity that keeps us fully in the moment, provides freedom from time, and leaves us open to chance.” These two books have been very instrumental in my life. Somehow, they have brought me to the limelight on the things I can do to keep my mom constantly present in my life; play.
Based on Brene’s explanation, I now realize how much time and effort one needs to put into things we often consider insignificant and give very little attention. As adults, we already have a lot going on: office work, unemployment, school, marriage, kids, business, and having a family. These things fill up our day such that we barely have time for ourselves or play. We spend each day worrying about the next.
How about creating time for ourselves or better still integrate play into our daily activities? Dr. Stuart explained how this worked for some people. I have tried it. I totally agree with him because play works for me. These days, aside from being humorous with colleagues, I listen to different genres of music (from Christian songs, instrumentals, country songs, to 90s R&B and Nija hits). I do a lot of sit-dancing on my desk. Knowing I could dance like no one is watching. Doing these has been very helpful, especially with my productivity at work. To my future employer, I know you will not have me sit in one of your office spaces forever, but if you ever spot me sit-dancing on my desk know that I am in my most productive mood. The company will most probably get its highest input from me on such days. While Brené recommended that we make laughter, song, and dance a part of our daily lives as individuals, groups, or a family, Dr. Stuart writes that we can enjoy this through play.
I strongly advocate including play through songs, laughter, music, and dance as an integral part of every adult’s daily life. Your mental health is the hallmark of your well-being. As we hustle from Wall Street to Banholfstrasse, to Lagos city, to our offices, to our kitchens, backyards, and back to our bedrooms, let us administer to ourselves a single dose of happiness through play in any form. That additional dose brings promising results.